Mind Pilot – Take Self Control

So far, the morning has gone extremely well — from the alarm clock at 10 o’clock, I’ve already felt pretty much ready to go, listening to “What’s The Story Morning Glory” by Oasis. 

By the time the track “She’s Electric” comes on, I’m feeling full of energy myself, and I start to breeze through breakfast and cleaning up the general clutter around the kitchen with ease.  Then, all of a sudden, it feels like total engine failure. 

My next aim was to take some exercise before heading towards the office, but I just didn’t feel motivated to do that.  Suddenly, I’m getting worked up about all the clutter in the front room of the house.  When Mum and younger brother came round for a meal on Sunday, it was all looking so tidy, but mum brought a whole load of stuff with her that I’d left behind why stayed with her whilst the house was getting renovated, and now I feel like it’s back to square one. 

 In my notebook, I trying to map out a simple diagram of my options — but next to each one there is a blockage.  Top of the list is dry to the health club and go for a swim (but where will I park the car afterwards), next is go for a bike ride (uncomfortable seat, couldn’t be bothered to the change into cycling gear), or I could just go for a jog (feeling irritated by hayfever, jogging around grassland doesn’t really seem so sensible). 

The fourth option is to stick around and do some more household clearance, but that seems like far too much of an uphill struggle. 

This all seems incredibly pathetic, but hopefully it shows how quickly my outlook can turn from being extremely bright, and ready to go, to feeling sluggish are not able to do the most basic of tasks.  This change can literally happen in an instant, and before I have time to think about what’s happened, I crawl back to bed, and I won’t be getting up until after six that evening.

Monday ninth of June 5:25 pm — office

It’s getting very hot in here, and irritation levels are rising fast.  Everyone else might be leaving, but I’ve just got to, only to find that having moved into this office over a week ago, there is still no Internet. 

Having Internet blocked out can be a useful way of preventing distractions, but right now, there are whole load of things I need the Internet for.  I’m regretting walking here, as I was already hot when I got here, and this office is roasting.  Travelling around the table trying to find out if the Internet will work has just made me feel even more sticky. 

This is why these times when it feels like smoke is starting to appear under the door — it’s time for an “emergency landing” and a quick escape.

Monday 5:45 — courtyard near office

Escaped from the office, and sat down in a courtyard just round the corner.  Already I’m feeling much cooler.  So what’s the real bother about not having Internet, and if there are things which need to be done, can’t I do is go to the library or find some other connection?

Nothing is that urgent, and most things can wait for a day or two, but there is so much organisational stuff that does rely on having an Internet connection.  Websites such as Facebook might seem usually distracting, but they are also very useful for arranging social interaction, and last week was one of those weeks where nothing happened. 

This week run the risk of going the same way as well.  I can waffle a certain amount without the Internet, but I always need connection to look up certain facts and figures. 

Where next?