There should be another post out there from back in the middle of February when things were going very well (to be uploaded later), and I wanted to note down a few thoughts on how I have managed to make that happen. Since then, I’ve had two or three so-so weeks, followed by a real slump over the last seven days. Now, I’m looking at ways of getting out of this, and staying out.
Much of these ideas come under the banner of cognitive therapy or perhaps ‘cognitive redirection’ might be a better term. My low periods are serious enough to make me feel extremely lethargic, and to lose all interest in doing any work, or making any effort to see people, but they are far from life-threatening. Perhaps this is their hidden danger — when I’m go through one of these phases, I can appear completely levelheaded when speaking to people, so they will be none the wiser. In fact, last week, I went to a concert on Tuesday, and saw some old school friends on Saturday, and had a really good time on both occasions, without giving off the slightest hint to the people I was with that I was going through a bit of a low patch.
Having said that, the concert might well have been a bad move, not so much in its own right — it was over by 11, but because we spent 2 1/2 hours driving around Liverpool after the show, and then didn’t get back home until three in the morning. It is probably fair to say that this knocked my routine out for the rest of the week.
Anyway, I’m working at a step-by-step process for getting out of future slumps, but isn’t quite teacher giving me a slap on the wrist and saying don’t do it again, because I know how easy it is for these feelings to repeat themselves.