2:30 am
I could, and should have got up much much earlier today. I was always starting to feel awake, just after midnight, having spent almost all of the previous day in bed. But I just felt he washed out. Tui comes around, still washed out. Then it starts to get light, but I don’t think I’ve got the energy to sustain anything more than a bit of reading.
At last, at six, I decide to get up and have a bit of breakfast.
7 a.m.
Breakfast should energise, but I’m still feeling dopey. So it is back to bed. An hour or two a proper solid sleep might have done some good, compared with a half sleep that I had been getting over the last few days, but instead I doze likely before finally starting to sleep a little bit more solidly. Perhaps around midday. By about 3 p.m., I’m finally starting to pluck up the energy to get up, and take a shower, but this hardly invigorates me.
4 p.m.
If there’s one thing that I think will help me get kickstarted out of its malaise, then it is the right medication in the morning. Ritalin worked so well, until the eruptions of late last year, so it isn’t rocket science to contemplate the benefits of having it back. It just requires one phone call to the right specialist, but his lines are always busy. Try three more times. Still busy. Maybe it would help if I tried making these calls much earlier in the day, but right now, this is easier said than done. Ritalin provides the very jumpstart, which I need to get me going in the morning, and without this, mornings become afternoons oh so very quickly.
(Thursday 24th July) 1:46 a.m.
At last, I found the motivation to come into the office, and have produced some decent content, having spent a few hours doing the research necessary to manage it. Now trying to work out whether to go straight to sleep or not. If is on any kind normal routine, this should be obvious — going to bed at 2 a.m. would already be late, but I have spent the best part of the last two solid days in bed, so I’ve already had more than enough sleep of late. If I did try and get to bed now, there is a slim chance of go straight to sleep, and be offered a good time tomorrow morning, but it still far more likely that the restless, and that I won’t go to sleep several hours — even if I’m starting to feel pretty tired now.
Perhaps the best thing is to carry on making a few more notes for now — nothing technical owner has, just continued Mind Pilot updates which I haven’t been doing for a few weeks, and then maybe try and hit the sack in another hour or so.
2:02
Posting raw waffle as a blog post – hopefully putting some kind of order into these thoughts. Can always expand on this later. At least there’s something going up there. Now I’ve made it into the office, the day has been quite productive. Just need to get that Ritalin – fast. Really want to make that fresh start next week.
Overall: **—-